My girlfriend always seemed to enjoy seeing just how much she could get away with doing some form of our bondage in public. She does this partly because she finds it fun, mostly because she knows it drives me out of my tree. Usually, I'm able to fast-talk my way out of potentially embarrassing situations with Mundanes, but yesterday she very nearly got me fired. Yesterday afternoon we had lunch together. Afterward, she accompanied me back to my place of work. I thought this slightly unusual, since she had never before expressed an interest in my work (electronic engineering), but it didn't occur to me that she had something planned. We arrived at my workbench, where I'm currently trying to figure out why the hell board on which I'm working is not performing the way I designed it. "Is this where you work?" she asked. "At the moment," I replied. I reached over to turn on the scope, thereby completely failing to notice the huge studded black leather collar she produced from her purse. Before I could even blink (it's amazing the speed at which she can do this), she had locked the collar snugly around my neck, and locked the end of the six-foot jack chain to the center of the bench (where there just happened to be a mounting hole, dammit). I turned to face her in utter disbelief, mouth agape. "I'll be back for you at five," she said. "HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY WACKO!!?!?" I yelled in a hushed voice. "HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS???" "You'll think of something," she said, dropping the keys into her cleavage. "You always do." "But suppose I have to go to the bathroom," I countered. "Don't give me that," she said. "I've seen you go for a whole day without visiting the bathroom." "But...," I tried to say. "SHHH! The subject is closed. I'll be back at five. Bye." She turned and left, against my hushed protests. I sat in panic and tried to think out my situation. I tried to think of all the people who might visit. Most of my co-workers were friends who knew that my girlfriend and I were a bit odd, so this shouldn't surprise them. But I had *no* idea what I was going to say if one of my bosses came in. I checked my watch to see how long I would have to endure this ignominy. 13:30 (I'm a military time weenie). "Three and a half hours," I thought. I heaved a sigh, and got to work, such as I could.
